Bounty Hunters Online - Comics & Collectables

huh...?	So ... then... this is my website. I know - awesome ... aha... I have decided technology is evil and out to get me. Computers ARE sentient.... this one sure as hell knows what I am thinking because it DOES THE OPPOSITE THING AAAAAAAAAAAALL the time! Bastard..... It hates me. peeeeerhaps because I have threatened it many maaannnny times over the last few weeks and - oh yeah - once I hit it and it went off for a bit. So I panicked and it laughed and came back on and sat smugly while I recovered from the effects of hyperventillating out my spleen... I am TRYING to get my webshop up and running so you all have shiny things to look at BUT - any of you out there who don't know me can bear in mind that there's me here on me own here fighting the urge to put my fist through the monitor so I'm going as quick as I can ... Do computers have arses? I wish they did... then I could shove something sharp up it and really give it something to twitch and fizzle about. Something with corners. Right - DON'T have a go about spelling or foul language - I care not a jot. I simply require a forum to vent. And not a forum where anyone gets to reply - I have many things to say which are evidently VITAL to the wellbeing of the universe and I don't like interruptions and if I don't swear I'll kill someone - a lot. If you're offended then either don't read on or perhaps introduce yourself to the real world for a bit and see if you can cope after months of abuse from teenagers with hair shaped like those padded helmets you give to 'special' people. Sorry - what the cock is an Emo??? No - really - and don't email me - its rhetorical. Emotional Punk???? Yarr.... all they need is a kick up the arse and a personality injection.... ...or napalm... yeah Right - there's new stuff up - the Hellboy figures are rather swish - I recommend them, before I end up after a bottle of wine on a pakage opening frenzy. Oh - and Nici, should you happen to be reading this, you divine creature you, see how I remembered how to do tables???? ahaha. How the simplest things amuse me... sigh... if I had a brain, I'd be average... Right - this was just to start stuff - I'm knackered now from staring at the bloody screen for 12 hours. I am going away to Radox my eyeballs.
" Lol"..	Yes - I have met people who are well-versed in computer speak. They can't communicate like normal people and exist in a bizarre text/online-game-speak world. Sweet zombie Christ.... You need to know how bad things are - I have heard - more than once - FREAKS who, in conversation, actually say "LOL" ... Yes - SAY "LOL" ...instead of laughing... as in -- "oh yeah, right, that's funny - LOL" WHY?? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? In the real world you can actually ACTUALLY 'laugh out loud' - for real!! WHY would they SAY "LOL" instead of ACTUALLY laughing???? They should be shot. All of them. Without exception. They are diluting the gene pool on a par with Big Brother fans...JeeZUS. Why? Adendum - sorry - should have explained - met ANOTHER one the day I wrote this. They're multiplying - podding...planning to take over the world! And that's my job, obviously. They can't have it. They can empty the bins.
Iron Man	I have to admit to never really having been a massive fan of Irom Man... however... I do accept that he is shiny and cool and yes I want the suit. Having been FORCED against my will (ahem) to look at the Marvel.com site today - DRAGGED kicking and screaming away from work duties (honest !) - I just had to watch the new Iron Man movie trailer ...a few times. If you've not seen it yet go see http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1388782857/bctid1442372066 AWESOME! Could they have cast a better Stark? Surely this is GENIUS casting! I think I can probably even cope with Paltrow in this one. Also - check out the Iron Man adventure short animations - 3 of them. (aderunner - see what you started????!) They're extremely pretty. A quality diversion.
Royston Vasey	Complaints have been made about me changing my business from shop to mail order. Now - I am GENUINELY sorry if it's a pain in the ass for any genuine comic collector or action figure nut who may have been wanting to visit, but here's the reasoning... Have you BEEN to West Kirby??? They HATE us - or that's how it appears - with a burning passion! They spent the forst 4 years we were here trying to close us down! Some sad old farts actually raised a petition one Halloween when our window display of Jack Skellington (Nightmare Before Christmas) figures offended them - they thought they were baby foetuses in coffins?? What? How? no..... You have to see this place - it's TECHNICALLY gorgeous - a rural-type seaside community - lovely sunsets and parks, squrrels and tweety birdies abound - sadly - so do the out-of-reality nut jobs. Uniform of choice is anything in tweed, kilts (only for the ladies ...), berets and velour jump-suits - matching ones if you've not yet managed to bore your partner to death yet. The average age is 142 and everyone is dipped in formaldehyde and rose water, made of tissue paper and spontaneously combust if they shuffle too fast or stand in sunlight for more than 3 seconds. The air smells mostly like crab shit and dead seagulls.... I suspect though that it's coming from the inhabitants who forgot the rose water in their pickling solution. They complain ALL the time about EVERYTHING and they hate EVERYONE - but secretly and furtively, yet with more spite, malice and venom than a roomful of emos at a Hanson revival. They plot and scheme and gossip more than any people I have EVER known IN MY LIFE and if they can't find anything they make it up - and some of the stories are incredible! Baby foetuses.... feckwits..... They all pretend to be respectable... everyone has a nanny for their kids - whose names they can't be arsed remembering - and a mercedes on the drive, beige rooms and perfect hairdos but at the weekends they head on up to the soirees and clubs and chuck the car keys in a pot and head on home with whichever aspiring-upper-middle-class alcoholic housewife matches the keys they pick, dress up in gimp suits and hit each other with celery, or aging daschunds or dead seagulls - or whatever it is that keeps them happy. Oh the Jocastas and Rodneys of West Kirby - how they like to pretend they're all so rootin-tootin posh and dandy - and not a personality between them! Not a single one! Its a wierd, messed-up nightmare that you can't run far enough from. Everyone knows everyone - they know all the family histories and all about who has dodgy cousin scratching away in the wall-space... Everyone's bloody related in some way shape or form - and almost every family has a lumpy orange-haired child made of dough who all look like each other but NEVER look like their parents - like a technicolour village of the damned! When we moved here they spent months crossing the road... as if personality or individuality was a contageous disease to flee from. I was offended, and then upset for AGES as I feel their judgement sucked - frankly - donkey balls, but over the last year or two I feel I have been blessed with an eye-opening epiphany.... and now I don't give a nun's left tit for any of the buggers. There are people here I love dearly - oh so precious few - and they are awesome. And I happen to know that they feel the way I do so I figure that's why we get along! Soooo..... why not leave....? Reasonable... reasonable.... BUT - aside from the knuckle-dragging, banjo-playing, inbred gimps that persist in infecting the place - it's actually somewhere you can really get fond of. Grim but true. We have grey seals in the river! PROPERLY David Attenborough and everything with wildlife we are and the sunsets are awesome. PLUS - my Nan and Grandad used to bring me here every week as a kid so I go all wibbly over that and stuff. But mainly.... Do you have ANY idea how god damned much it PISSES them off that we are STILL here - EIGHT YEARS LATER - but now, to add insult to injury, THEY CAN'T COME IN!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That keeps me warm on frosty nights that does ... I like putting signs on the door that say things like 'club members only' and then telling them they can't join! SO petty - this place is catching... but it's SO MUCH FUN! My dream? - If I can make this business changeover work (BUY STUFF!) I can move to a lovely shiny warehouse where we can all sit in a cool club room on big squishy sofas, surrounded by INCREDIBLY cool stuff and get pissed and do geek talk AND THEN - reopen this place as a budget comic shop, set out like comic shops of the good old days - with nasty faded toys and posters in the window strewn with dead flies and wasps, dimly lit and smelling slightly of feet and pizza.. HOW MUCH would that aggravate them? Could be worse.... I could sell second hand teeth or Celine Dion memorabila. I know - I've become as petty as them... but, like Kirk, I NEED my anger and loathing to fester and fuel my desire to sit here day after day, night after bastard night listing books and comics and stuff WHICH IS TEDIOUS IN THE EXTREME and not adviseable after wine or similar drinky goodness as things go a bit iffy. I just thought I would share. If people from West Kirby read this and get offended then - really - you know you are a velour-wearing, daschund abuser ....anyone who can see the funny side? Well done! Full marks and I applaud you! Right - one day I will ATTEMPT to explain other parts of the Wirral...... like Wallasey, Leasowe, or even shudder Meols....the mole-haters. Be afraid.... All I will say about Meols is - have any of you seen a movie called Hemoglobin? Watch it - that's Meols that is..... Ok - going to inhale more fragrant sea air and dodge the banjos - thanks for reading
calm down, calm down...	I see that an anti-smoking group in Liverpool want an 18 cerificate to be placed on any film which contains scenes where people are smoking... They claim that a recent survey indicated that over half of the kids who started smoking in Liverpool last year did so because of seeing their movie idols smoking on screen ..... so....... nothing to do with the fact that their parents are probably smokers then? No? Not anything to do with the fact that the parents often BUY their kids cigarettes? No? Oh - and I suppose people will get arsey and say that's a Liverpool stereotype forced on people by the biased media... Oh - no... that's right - that would involve some education and ability to communicate effectively.. sorry. Try again - what they'll no doubt say is, " Eh? Wha? F&£ you- we're a city of ccchchchchcultcher yer know yer tw&t so F&£ off and buy me kids some fags an booze yer bastard or I'll kick yer F8&£in 'ead in. We've got Beatles tribute bands, we 'ave." I know there ARE A LOT nice people in Liverpool (genuinely nice people) - I have met and enjoyed the company of many - this is not aimed at them - just the ignorant inbred mono-browed morons who give everyone else a bad name - the ones with 5 year old alcoholic chain-smokers for offspring and 'arse-scratching' for an occupation. Oh - and aspirations that if they work REALLY hard at diluting that lovely gene pool even further they may JUST achieve the height of all glory and be in an episode of 'Trisha' ,...trying to find out which of their brothers is the father of their malformed smoking infant. Get real - If you want your kids not to smoke - set a good example yourselves; perhaps get on to the government to impose fines which they actually enable the police to enforce. Be useful - warm up your brains - in a pan if necessary - and THINK before you do stuff.
Egg run 2008	Today was Egg Run day - just want to say how awesome bikers are - truly awesome. Not 12 year olds on sewing machines with wheels - BIKERS. Fabulous people! Really chuffed they keep going with this and that the bureaucrats haven't stopped them! Nice one. Thank you x Have to add to this one here as APPARENTLY ... SOME people don't know anything about the Egg Run.. Thank you there to my proof reader and goodest buddy, Blinky there for pointing that out! No - 'Egg Runs' is not a nasty disease of pants spillage, rather an awesome gathering of bikers who are raising money for charity. http://www.wirraleggrun.co.uk/welcome_1.htm Click on the link to view the official site. The Wirral Egg Run starts in New Brighton and pretty much tours the whole peninsula once a year (at Easter - obviously) - bikers come from all over the place to join in, many in INSANE costumes and many who have violated their machines by sticking bunny ears or beaks onto them somewhere. Check the egg run site for news of this years event - over 7000 bikes!! How awesome is that? I've stuck some images of last year's event here for you too look at. If any bikers want to take part in stuff like this contact your local newspapers...there are other egg run events nationally, but I know you're always welcome to join this one. Grab your ethics by the seat of their pants and get involved with something charitable - you'll not regret it!
Don't watch Star Trek before you go to sleep...	Ok - it's been a very odd week - MASSIVELY hectic with much stress and stuff-all sleep.... all of which my brain has lost the plot (more than usual) and I blame Star Trek No - hear me out... Star Trek TOS, Star Trek Next Gen and DS9 are being re-run again on tv and I have been stuck watching them in the wee small hours of the morning when I have just got back from work (finally) and want to switch my thinky processes off... But at that time of the morning it's not so easy to focus and thought do run off a bit so I thought I would share a few... Do you ever think that Chief O'Brien looks a bit up-tight when working the transporters in Next Gen? It can't be the work - how bloody easy is working a transporter??! Jeepers... It has to be an overdose of dodgy Guinness - and potatoes... HAS to be - replicated ones at that. The thought follows that ALL transporter workers look a bit...constipated... so it brings me to wonder... if you can transport out a baby - as demonstrated in Voyager - can you transport out poop? Surely... It HAS to be possible - otherwise why are they all there looking so bunged up?? That HAS to be the best future solution for backed-up bowels EVER. Also - have you taken a close look at Vulcans? All those swish robes they were... all so snooty. BUT - I reckon they're a walking advertisement for Febreeze. Seriously - I reckon they're as filthy as your average Jedi - just Febreeze the whiff away. No One said they don't sweat.... Come on - every seven years? Hell - they'd be gritting their little Vulcan teeth and sweating fit to frighten a Klingon, surely! Does Picard wear Beverly's knickers? I reckon so. They'd bunch less than streaky gruns under that jumpsuit. That's why he always looks distracted. DEVASTATINGLY gorgeous though. Yarr...make it so! Who cuts Worf's barnet? The man has a bowl-head worse than I did when I was 8 and my mum thought she was a whizz with scissors - sadistic woman. And as it's naturally wavy in later series does that mean he spends 3 hours blow-drying it? Less time on the do, more time on beating Wesley Crusher to death with a Ferengi....brutal but I would watch that over and over and over.... If you were Odo and you could shape-change into anything, what would you change into? Me? I'd change into Gowron's eyeballs and 'explode' in the middle of a negotiation... Gowron's eyeballs ALWAYS look like they'd do that anyway... maybe he's in desperate need of a transporter? Angry man... angry ANGRY man... Spending too long watching Next Gen has made me walk like Riker. It's true... I know it - everything I wear falls off one shoulder so I must slope down in that direction. Purposeful walk=Riker walk... lead with one shoulder a la John Wayne and off you go. SOOOO not good. Why are most female aliens hotties and most male aliens crap? ASIDE from the sainted and blessed Jeffrey Combes who is a GOD among men and the BEST Andorian ever - as well as every other bloody alien species in the Trek Universe. Yarr.... anyway - just passing these thoughts out into the ether. Exorcise them from my brain as it were. Live long and prosper, and don't forget to Febreeze your undies!
AAAAA AAAAA AAARR RRRRR RRRRG GGGHH !	Right - I can't help this.... It's eating my face away it's that bad - so if you are easily offended go spot pigeons. WHAT the Fk was Lucas thinking when he thought up Gungans???? I KNOW - I KNOW - I am NOT the first to say this - although as that was my FIRST comment on the bastards after my first DEATHLY disappointing viewing of the catastrophic Episode One (at midnight - first release) so I will have been AMONG the first..... BUT WHAT THE.. ...oh shit it... FUCK?!??!?** Not ONLY have I had the misfortune to find several bloody Jar Jar figures this week but SOME BASTARD had the utter bloody GALL to tell me that the walking calamari ring was a modern substitute for CHEWBACCA!!!! ??????????????????????????????? Really? REALLY??? Are you INSANE????? Ok - smart arse - let's put a Gungan and a Wookie in a pit and see which one of them comes out intact WEARING the other one for a HAT shall we?! Are you MAD??? Or in the employ of Lucas - who has evidently lost the cocking PLOT in these last few years .... talk about believing your own hype! Christ.... Oh - and don't spout about how he is awesome... Do you not think I realise how important the goitred, bearded latex-fetishist is in the scale of things? YES he did indeed revolutionalise sci-fi movies, special effects and the toy industry, but hardly single-handedly! And EVEN if he created heaven and EARTH - HE STILL THOUGHT UP FUCKING GUNGANS!!! ANd NO------NO! They do NOT make ewoks better by comparison!! NO!! NO THEY DO NOT! The woolly little bastards COULD NEVER DEFEAT ONE AT-AT LET ALONE THE WHOLE SODDING EMPIRE!!!!!!!!! YARRRRRRR!! We ALL know this - apart, evidently, from Lucas! This burns within me like a thermite bonfire which will never cease..... FEEL MY PAIN!!!!! THIS - THIS - is why I have a Jar Jar Binks doll crucified on my stock room door. THIS is why....The second one, I might add.... Do you know I actually had 'people' - with children (gods preserve us ) - complaining about it? They said it upset their feeble minded offspring! Well - I added the feeble minded part but I think that's a must in this case... I have felt the urge to educate these people and shall continue so to do! While there is alcohol in my veins and this is allegedly a democracy the WORLD will know that Jar Jar must die a THOUSAND times and that Lucas will NEVER experience the searing agony of the desolation of losing faith in Star Wars until he has had every Jar Jar Binks figure EVER made inserted up his arse. I feel a little better now.
we pledge allegiance..?	Someone sent me this - thought you might like to read it as it's dashed amusing, don't you know... Have a titter - * "To the citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy; and Alaska, which she will give to Canada to simplify the map of North America). Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix'-ize'will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell- checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists show that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French Fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; unfortunately you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. God save the Queen."
Why the HSBC Bank suck ARSE	Right... The fucking HSBC bloody bank suck donkey balls to a MASSIVE degree for - oh - several reasons but I need to just highlight the one - VERY GOOD - one.... How many millions and billions have these bastards announced in profits over the past few years ???? Fucking shedloads...... They're proud of the fact that they are one of the most powerful financial institutions in the world and they're about as moral and ethically sound as a serial killer on a hack 'n' slash spree. HERE'S WHY The fuckers have phoned me SIX TIMES to tell me that they have bounced a £2 direct debit.... to....... WATER AID !!! It's TWO FUCKING POUNDS YOU TIGHT ASSED BASTARDS!!!! I KNOW I have buggered up my personal finances this month but I'm overdrawn a whole £108 - and I couldn't give a pensioners fart who knows as we've all bloody well done that a few times. BUT - They've paid bills before in this situation as the wages always go back in ! What makes them and their arbitrary bloody computer system think that this was a sound ethical decision to make???? What fucking lesson is it teaching me???? That the HSBC suck arse? I KNOW THAT - Christ - that's why I've just moved to another bank for the love of gods...... Am I supposed to feel bad? 'Cos I don't - the charity will have a lovely direct debit set up from my new bank which will be just sparkly and all this has done is make me TOTALLY go off on one and set about doing SOMETHING about this.... I SWEAR I will piss them off somehow.... Jesus - I KNOW they can't just pay every outstanding payment on every account - I'm not an idiot, but THEY CALLED ME SIX TIMES TO TELL ME!!!!!!!! How much did that cost them then eh? Eh? SIX PHONE CALLS - From India too!!! You can't tell me they get all their phone calls free!!! CHRIST! And - AND - I KNOW that any due-to-be-bounced payments tend to appear before the branch manager so why the fucking shit did the idiot-company-line-towing moron who runs my branch not put aside her personal dislike for me and the fact that I have a bigger brain and better personality than she has ever had aside and ALLOW A CHARITY PAYMENT THROUGH?????? FOR TWO POUNDS ?!?!?!?!??? Stupid STUPID woman ------ stupid STUPID bank...... IDIOTS and unethical morons all..... ANYONE who wishes to tell the HSBC that they are SHIT can log on to the www.HSBC.co.uk website and find an email for them... HOUND THE BASTARDS till they amend thir ways... It may never happen but there is no way on this tainted, financially and morally corrupt earth that these fuckers will just slide past this one. Please - if you bank with these morons please please consider moving to a better bank... All banks are basically evil but the HSBC wear the crown. And tell the bastards why too - let them know they should be held accountable for their actions. Sorry - but I had to get that out of my system on some public forum... I have already emailed the BBC and am now off to email a few newspapers... you never know - if there's ever an investigation - which there bloody well SHOULD be - again they can add this fuel to the fire. Remember.... The HSBC bank - * lose your personal financial details on discs because their systems and employees are inept * Exploit foreign workforces to save money and increase already expanding profits * Don't understand the concepts of charity assistance customer care listening understanding helping giving a rat's ass * don't want small accounts - they want you to leave. They have that in their policies - research that one - it's frightening * don't belive in small businesses... they think small businesses are "hobbies" and that small business owners and entrepreneurs should "go out and get a job" ----yes.. those are quotes... * Believe YOU work for THEM * SUCK Dump them - leave them - cause them misery - email them or write to them - QUESTION their policies - reasearch the shit they get up to and TELL PEOPLE!!!!! Thanks for listening